Hi,
i could use some info which RA has the most impact on pets tankability (abs and hp)?
so,... augdex, augcon, toughness, (aom?) ?

All of those realm abilities are either broken or do not get applied on this server in a way that makes a difference (from my experience). Additionally Purge, and a few other RA's dont work in a way that would be beneficial to a necro... and that's not counting the fact that potions and charges cant be used in shade form.... Examples...from my experience.

Toughness seems to give the pet a slight boost to ABS but doesn't seem to give the pet additional hit points... I guess that is based on the ability is not a pet ability. At any rate i went to 3 and saw an abs difference that was about the same as a reverse damage shield...not worth the points at any scale.

Aug con: gives zero bonus in any way (previous posts regarding same question). Also don't waste any start stats on con.
Aug dex doesn't seem to have a noticeable abs increase.
Aug Dex/Qui doesn't give abs increase at all (from what i can tell after casting the self buffs).

I'm not even sure if the pet casted abs actually helps the pet at all.

In short, spec Sight for gold, and side pain for RVR.... only way to go... you get hard hitting lifetaps, AE unbreakable snare and Ae pbae dot for keep door action.